It has been an incredibly long amount of time since I’ve written a post. And I’m truly sorry; for my blog, for my fans (lol like I really have any) and for myself. Though I haven’t written here in a while, every time that I do, I just feel better. Even those times that I don’t feel better, I feel relief. Like a burden has been lifted from me. So I write today to talk about challenges, joys, sorrows, reflections and discovery.
Senior year is here. And almost halfway over. I feel a tremendous amount of relief knowing that these four years of work will not be for nothing. In just a couple months I will have a diploma in my hands and a plan for graduate school. It seems crazy, thinking about how just a few years ago I was finding my place here at Rochester – unsure of who I’d become or what path I’d take. I can’t tell you with any certainty what I will be or do in the next couple of years. I have a plan, no doubt, but plans change. I can say that I will continue discovering.
One of the greatest joys of college is friendship. I am forever grateful to the people that I have met here. They bring such life to me and to this campus and to my experience here. I’ve discovered so much through them and vice versa. I’ve been challenged by them and struggled with differences, and yet have been loved and learned to love. I’ve created bonds with people in just a few months that are incredibly strong. Some of my most cherished friends are, of course, those that I’ve found through a cappella. I can’t even tell you how sad I get at the thought of not being able to sit around at Pasta & Wine night in a year; and not being able to have impromptu hangouts around campus.
As the year draws closer to it’s end, I’ve discovered how deeply I care about these people and these relationships. And yet, I also feel like I am pushing the reality of graduation as far back in my mind as possible, because I don’t want time to run out. I don’t want to face the reality of such a big change. I don’t want to think about losing people. I’m scared. And I while I can’t wait to see what my future looks like, I’m so comfortable right here, right now. As I watched this semester roll by me, I realized just how close everything is and how easily time moves on. Just how much I love; this campus, this school, these people.
I think one of the biggest discoveries of senior year is how to reconcile these discrepancies. Figuring out how to invest in my relationships more, rather than run away for fear of them ending. Appreciating the present, while still preparing for the future. So, I will do my best to embrace these last couple months of my undergraduate career and pay attention to the little details with those I love. I don’t mean to talk about this as if I will forget everything that happens in college. I know that I won’t. But, this is a reminder to me that life moves quickly and I don’t want to try to outrun it. I can’t. So instead, I’ll embrace it and experience everything fully. To not be scared of loving and loving deeply. To laugh more and stay up late watching silly reality tv shows with my girls. To be me to the fullest and not be ashamed of it. This is getting a little too sappy. The semester isn’t over, yet. So I’ll leave this for now. Thanks for listening to my rambling and random thoughts. I’ll write again soon.
Doing it A cappella 